Health event, negative

Reader-land, this is just a warning blog.  I had a medical emergency Tuesday night and my world is very different.  I may not be able to write much more.

Tuesday night I was putting Luke to bed like always. I was in the permobil as usual. I have been having postnasal Drip, which creates snot balls in my throat. I have to tilt my head down to swallow, and I have to ask for help with my massive cranium. Well on this night I thought I could risk lowering my head because someone would walk by and help. So I did, and I swallowed that snot ball!

After an unknown amount of time, it started to get hard to breathe again, in my stomach area, diaphragm, something was pushing against it. I can’t lift my head, so I pushed up with my quads to open up airways to yell. No one heard. I did it again, nothing. I don’t know how many times but eventually I ran out of breath and strength. I started moving the wheelchair to bang on things but lost control and ended up stuck in the corner. At the same time my breathing was not productive. I knew I would pass out, but I went under thinking it was death. My last thought was “Jesus, I trust in you”.

Jack found me, and saved my life. Family came to help, Fr Lee came, a doctor (we love him and his wife and entire family!) came, and I was back. I don’t know how long I was out. I thought I died. It was incredibly painful, and I am afraid of potential future events like it. Begging for the cup to pass.

I’ve shared this fear, because I am not a good witness to Christ, I am running from my cross in terror.

I’m now in hospice care. I can’t eat much because my stomach constricts my breathing. I don’t know how much time I have, but I told the doctor to tell Mel. I will find out that way.

I love you all, Reader-land, and I pray for you. Thank you for sharing over two years of my weirdness. And if I get more time, I will blog more!

44 thoughts on “Health event, negative”

  1. Joe- there is nothing cowardly about you. You are an inspiration and a testament to the power of faith in God. You and you’re family are so loved. Continuing to pray for you and your family. 🙏🏼❤️

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  2. Joe—I don’t know you really, but I love you my brother. Actually I sort of feel like you’re my spiritual nephew or son kind of, thanks for sharing this—it sounds soooooo scary.
    The fact that “Jesus, I trust in You” was your last thought to me is huge, and tells me your heart and mind are in the right place.
    I’m praying for you, and I thank you for praying for me. God bless you and your family. All shall be well. Life is weird and your life is on a strange path but that’s the life God gave you. Peace. Love. Joy. Jesus, we trust in You. Now, there is pain. Then, there will be no more pain. I wish I had more words of comfort, but this I know—you have an amazing family and Jack is his father’s son. Mel is amazing too, as are all your people. God bless you all.

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  3. Joe, I have no words 💔💔💔… Except to say my family, since the very start of this whole ordeal, has been praying. You are an amazing person, no doubt holding a special place in favor with Him, with all of us.

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  4. You are in my prayers, Joe. Your witness to Christ through your illness, has shown me that I am asked by God to do the best I can in every situation in life. Whether or not you admit it, you do this every day. Even though you may not understand the reason for trials in this life, you reflect the love and mercy of God through your actions and interactions with those who know you personally and via social media, and you will be richly rewarded. Saint Padre Pio said to Pray, Hope and Don’t Worry. I will pray that you receive the grace to follow this saintly advice and die with the knowledge that you ran the good race. You are one of my heroes. I pray we will meet in heaven one day!

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  5. “Do not fear the changes of life. God, whose very own you are, will deliver you out of them all. He has kept to hitherto and He will lead you safely through all things. And when you cannot stand it, God will bury you in his arms. Do not be afraid of what will happen tomorrow. The same everlasting father who cares for you today Will care for you then and every day. He will either shield you from suffering or give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, and put aside anxious thoughts and imaginations.”
    St. Francis De Sales
    Thank you for your continuous faithful witness. We love you guys!

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  6. Joe, Tonight I went to Stations. I was so moved recalling Christ’s passion and death and our Catholic, Christian story of salvation. Christ so suffered, ascended to heaven and prepared a place for many. I am praying that you persevere in these times as you have so far. You have shared your Faith in such a meaningful way and I think if you don’t “get in”, none of Reader-land will. Remember, we all belong to God. He is good and loves us all. Stay faithful. You are a beautiful person of God. May God especially bless you, Mel and the children.

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  7. Joe – you have touched many more lives than you will ever know. Your humility and your faith are truly inspiring. I continue to lift up prayers for you and your family.

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  8. Joe, I cherish the short chat session we had a few days ago, thank you. Prayers, love and hugs go out to you and and your family.

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  9. You pushed up with your legs to get breath just as Jesus did on the cross. Then thought Jesus I trust In you…you, my brother, are The perfect witness to Christ.

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  10. You’ll have my prayers, Joe. You are such an incredibly grace-filled man, and I have faith that God has given you what you need to finish his work. I will pray for you; please pray for me. “My soul is sorrowful even to death. Remain here and keep watch.” Mk 14:34

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  11. Joe, you are the bravest, strongest person I know, even though we have never met, because you find your strength in Jesus and trust in Him. I am praying for you, Mel, your children, and your amazing extended family. Your blog posts have touched so many people and inspired us to pray for you and your family and to be grateful for God’s blessings in our lives.

    You ARE a good witness to Christ. You have shared the hardest parts of your journey with us, and your personal Via Dolorosa has helped us trust in Jesus as you do, and as Mel and your children do.

    Thank you for your honest commentary on your experiences…and thank you, too, for giving us the opportunity to pray for you and your family. Your Reader-land loves you, and we are with you every step of the way.

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  12. Joe, those who love you are trying to be the Simon of Cyrenes to help you carry your cross, but we know full well you are bearing the brunt of it. You always have my love and my prayers, and Mel and the children too.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Keep fighting the good fight brother! Is there a medical bracelet or button you could get to push to alert someone when you need them?

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  14. Joe, you’re a hero. I pray for you – and your family – every day, please pray for me as well. Life is scary. Death is certain and God is mercyful.

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  15. Dear Joe, I woke up in the 3am hour and for some reason opened my emails and found your post. Prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet for you and asked Jesus to let you know HE is with you and to dispel your fear. Watching with you, Joe. Praying for you.

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  16. Well, inasmuch as you see this as a dress rehearsal for that final moment, I’d say you passed with flying colors. To have those words be what you thought to be your last is as good as any man can hope for. Praying for you and your family, Joe, and I continue to be amazed by your strength and character. Hang in there.

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  17. Joe, You and your family will always remain in my prayers. You are an amazing inspiration and example of a good and faithful servant. Thank you for sharing this journey with “reader land.” Whenever the time comes to take His hand, please know that you have done your time on earth well.

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  18. Keeping all of you in prayer. Thank you so much for sharing your crosses with us. May our Lord Jesus Christ and Mama Mary continue to hold your hand through it all.

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  19. Thank you for your example, wisdom, faith in God. You are a true disciple of Jesus.
    I have been following your blog since the beginning and am in awe of you and your wife and children. My God be with you all.

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  20. Praying for you every day. You are part of my Catholic family and I thank you for sharing your pilgrims journey! May the Holy Spirit bring you grace and peace.

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  21. Praying for Jesus to never allow an incident that frightening again. For peace and protection . To provide all that you and Mel and the kids need at every moment. To wrap you tightly in His arms – no fear. Just rest and trust and comfort. Much love and unending prayers – Kristin

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  22. WOW!!!!! Thank you, Joe for your very powerful witness through your blogs. I will miss you a lot but will continue to pray daily for you and your family.

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  23. Joe, I know I’ve been silent. For your godfather, glaringly so. I have thought that you have enough noise and hearing the same advice and consolations from many others that once more would only add to the noise when what you probably want is quiet and peace. Though silent to your ears, those of our dearest Lord have been constantly bombarded – I pray for you incessantly.

    The only thing I would tell you is that it is a fool and not a brave man who runs into battle without fear. One cannot be brave without first having fear. And one cannot be heroically brave without immense fear. You say you are running from your cross, but “Jesus, I trust in Thee” are not the words of rejection, but of loving, humble acceptance.

    Though we can never “merit” graces much less passage into heaven, our dear Lord happily (humanly speaking) accepts sufferings offered to Him and then in His infinite mercy aids others and also gives more to us than we have surrendered to Him. Infinite love and mercy is unfathomably skewed in our favor! Those who suffer greatly, are able to “merit” much and do so for multitudes, as you have and continue doing.

    I aspire to be half the person you are. And so, the godson has far surpassed the godfather. I thank you profoundly for your prayers. Though reciprocated, I am far in your debt as yours carry more value than mine.

    Though with complete faith in our Lord, I am “certain” that you will not need prayers once you go to meet Him, you will remain in my prayers. And I find much comfort knowing that you will be with Him, radiant and ecstatic and [selfishly] knowing that then, even closer to Him than now, you will be praying for me without ceasing.

    All my love, dear Joe.

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  24. Joe thank you for your witness to the Faith during your suffering, your honesty and frankness during such difficult and even frightening moments, and for the humor you found during much of it.
    You and your sweet family remain in my prayers.

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  25. Thank you for your constant humor and strength. You have shown me how to be a better person. Many prayers for you and your family.

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  26. I’m so sorry you went through this horrible incident, Joe. I can relate, I’ve had similar things happen to me over my 23+ years with this horrible disease.
    Joe, you can bounce back from this, God’s not finished with you, my friend. Mel and your kids need you.
    Mary and I are praying for you.
    Bill

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