Reader-land, this is just a warning blog. I had a medical emergency Tuesday night and my world is very different. I may not be able to write much more.
Tuesday night I was putting Luke to bed like always. I was in the permobil as usual. I have been having postnasal Drip, which creates snot balls in my throat. I have to tilt my head down to swallow, and I have to ask for help with my massive cranium. Well on this night I thought I could risk lowering my head because someone would walk by and help. So I did, and I swallowed that snot ball!
After an unknown amount of time, it started to get hard to breathe again, in my stomach area, diaphragm, something was pushing against it. I can’t lift my head, so I pushed up with my quads to open up airways to yell. No one heard. I did it again, nothing. I don’t know how many times but eventually I ran out of breath and strength. I started moving the wheelchair to bang on things but lost control and ended up stuck in the corner. At the same time my breathing was not productive. I knew I would pass out, but I went under thinking it was death. My last thought was “Jesus, I trust in you”.
Jack found me, and saved my life. Family came to help, Fr Lee came, a doctor (we love him and his wife and entire family!) came, and I was back. I don’t know how long I was out. I thought I died. It was incredibly painful, and I am afraid of potential future events like it. Begging for the cup to pass.
I’ve shared this fear, because I am not a good witness to Christ, I am running from my cross in terror.
I’m now in hospice care. I can’t eat much because my stomach constricts my breathing. I don’t know how much time I have, but I told the doctor to tell Mel. I will find out that way.
I love you all, Reader-land, and I pray for you. Thank you for sharing over two years of my weirdness. And if I get more time, I will blog more!