The bane of my existence…

Humor.  More specifically, my wife’s humor!

Ok, let me break it down.  I can’t stand up without support.  I have to hold on and balance on my legs, very carefully.  I have to focus.  And if I am distracted, my legs get weak.

So when Mel cracks jokes when I am standing up, I am in close proximity to death by falling over!

Mel’s humor is awesome, a perfect complement to my weirdness.  But she has terrible timing!  She jokes right as she gets me out of the chair, which makes me fall over laughing back into the chair!  Or right before she gets me up and my body becomes all noodley with laughing.

I HAVE A CONDITION!

Oh, I’ve told her that she’s trying to kill me.  It’s all for the life insurance.  If I die by falling over laughing it can’t possibly be homicide!  I even make terrible grunting noises when I am walking and I know she’s about to say something funny, but to no avail!  Let me tell you what happened yesterday!

I had to use the restroom, pretty bad.  I asked for help, and Mel got me up and walked into the loo.  Then the dog came in, right as I am about ready to pee.  ON CUE, Mel starts cracking jokes about Sadie being confused therapy dog, she thought she was a British PHYSICAL therapy dog.  I can’t control my arms or bladder, and I pee all over myself.  It’s like an evil gift she has!

Let’s be honest, Mel doesn’t want me to pee myself, because she’s gotta clean it up.  But she’s got a God-given gift of impeccable timing and great humor to throw me off my natural capabilities!

These are the dangers of ALS, people.  Imagine if I were at someone else’s house and this happened?  I bet you didn’t think of that!  You can also imagine, if you dare, just how risky a humorous wife would be if, say, I had to poop.  Yeah, you didn’t think about that either, did you !

I love Mel, she keeps me on my toes!