What do I say to my daughters?

In many ways, this is much harder for me to write, in that I am not a woman and can never fully understand.  It’s easy to have tough love from father to son.  But as a father, I want to protect my daughters like a lion protects the pride.

Your Faith is the most important thing you have.  All of this is connected to that first point.  Your Faith.  If you learn it, cling to it no matter what, and try to live by it, these things will come naturally.  They will make sense.  God made us, and he made us male and female, and in a family, in a community.  The important things spiral out from and because of the first thing!IMG_0731

Your family, no matter what, are the most important people in your life.  With your faith, hold them accountable with love.  Support them, with your labor, time, and talents.  Drop things when your Mom needs help.  Go immediately.  You will never know how much your mom has done for you.

Your parents love you.

Your mother is right.

Begin every day with the Morning Offering.

No man is worth lowering yourself.  You are blessed in the image of Mary, Queen of Heaven, and anyone who would try to get you to do things that Mary wouldn’t do is leading you in the wrong direction.

Rebellion is fine.  Sin is not.

Don’t look down on any person.IMG_0717

Work hard, and you will succeed.  You aren’t entitled to anything that you won’t work for.

If you are interested in something, take the time and invest your energy.

Tough love is hard to give and receive, but it is the truest kind of love.

You are gifted with making the room light up with music and dance and transcendental Beauty.  Don’t stop, and don’t let anyone stop you!

Don’t stop singing!

You are truly feminine, and that is complementary to the masculine, equal but not the same.  Where a man would plant mighty trees, a woman may plant beautiful flowers.  Both/And.

Sex AFTER marriage or not at all.  Don’t give me any shit about how hard that is, I did it, so can you.  You want a healthy marriage and relationship?  No sex before marriage.  No boy who wants you to do that is worth it.  He objectifies women and treats them badly! 

Pornography messes with men’s minds and creates a dangerous addiction.  Stay away from it!

Abortion is never ever an option.

One of the most powerful forces in the universe is a mother’s love for her child.  If you are blessed with a family, those stretch marks or C section scars are God’s blessing to you, and your tiger stripes of love for your family! 60578950_10157531071228258_1648194661912674304_n

The world does not revolve around you.  Act accordingly.  Think about what other people might need.

Hard work and determination will get you where you need to go.  There are no shortcuts to success.

Your gender does not make you a victim.  Yes, people will be biased, but they can’t make you a victim unless you let them.  And then you’ve given them power over you.

Don’t be too stressed about who and when you will marry.  If you stay close to the Sacraments, God is going to show you.

Marriage to God is a wonderful option, never disregard it.

This is important, one of the most important things I can say, father to daughter: Men cannot read your mind.  Ever.  Not even a little bit.  You have to be specific and understand that he can’t read your mind.  This could save many fights.  If you are upset, tell him!  If you are sad, tell him!  If something makes you happy, Tell him!  Men will try to solve problems.  If you want a guy to listen, tell him that you just need to vent and can he listen.

Tell him.  See a theme?

Please, and Thank you, always.

Pray the Rosary daily.

Help when people ask.  Offer if they don’t.

You will fail.  It is not about how perfect you are, it’s about you keeping trying.

Your brothers love you, but they don’t understand you, that is why you fight.

If your brothers don’t protect you against bad boyfriends, they aren’t following my instructions.  If the boyfriend you love encourages sin, dump him ASAP, and I want my sons to help you.

The world is selling you as a sex object.  Movies, TV shows, music, clothing, everything, they are using women to sell sex.  You are a pawn in that war, because if they can get one girl they can probably get ten or more guys.  One woman as a sex object means guys buying porn or tickets to movies where the actress is naked, or even buys birth control or abortions.  They want you to focus on it, and get involved, and that means someone gets paid.  There are billion dollar industries involved.

That was difficult to write, but your lifelong war against this evil is more difficult still.

You are going to disappoint a lot of people in your life.  Care about the ones who are disappointed because you are hurting yourself, not the ones who care about image.

If you can get to daily mass, go.  Even at work, in the middle of the day.

Life doesn’t make sense in our minds, but it does in God’s.  He’s in charge.

Put up a crucifix in your room, or in your house.

Live every day trying to attain these words at the end of your life, “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”

Your parents wish you would ask them for help.  We have so many stories.

Listen to your grandparents stories.  Listen to old people’s stories.  They have lived full lives and you can learn from their wisdom or mistakes.10304786_10152538242978258_6902096384189071882_n

Lastly, because I could go on for days; I have fallen, and made mistakes, and hurt people, the ones I love and don’t love.  I have those regrets.  You may also, but remember I am praying for you, and there is strength in humility and asking forgiveness.  There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but I have saved the most important for last.

I love you!


4 thoughts on “What do I say to my daughters?”

  1. Joseph if I didn’t know you I would think you were 120 Years old! You are wise and brave! We are inspired by you and have no words to express our sorrow about your suffering. But we do thank God that He put You in our lives! Talk about Inspiration and Truth. That is what you manifest. May God give you everything you need! Our prayer for you and your family is that Our Dear Jesus and Mary will give you all.. Every detail. We are edified and and inspired by you. But most of all.. We LOVE YOU!💖💖💖💖💖💞💞💞💞💫💫💫💫💫💫


  2. Joe, thanks for a very heartfelt words of guidance for young girls about life and their FAITH.
    Love you



  3. Joe, those words are so beautiful and true. Thank you for sharing
    Always praying for you and your family
    Greg and Kathy Sweeney


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