Who Farts on an Airplane, redux

I had my two week follow up to the lumbar injection up at Umass this past Thursday.  This was a strange feeling,

A delay in National

as Mel had major surgery on Friday before and couldn’t really do much.  So Joey volunteered to be my escort on this trip, with plans of beer, jokes and Volturno’s pizza.


The day began as every day did – me getting up early-ish and then running late.  Luckily, we had the traffic update and avoided route 28.  Joey, again, brought breakfast.  And we were off!


Where does this dog go when the plane takes off?

So, one bond I have with my brothers and brothers-in-law is that they get my sense of humor, and I get theirs.  They also tend to be very easy to have real conversations with, so it was going to either be a great trip, or we were going to get a divorce.


The first hiccup was a flight delay.  I don’t know what goes on at Logan airport, but our AM flight was delayed 2 hours.  This opened up fun-time.

Don’t you crave Lebanese in the am?

There was the dog that ruthlessly savaged Joe’s leg a few months ago, and the cowboy who appeared to miss his flight to Dallas, and the little children running about, and cravings for Lebanese food.


We also had a little excitement with the EV construction.  Joey is a huge contributor to the EV motivation department, so when the physical progress comes in the excitement is high.  For this update, Jack Z told us that the motors were working correctly, the joystick was installed, and progress going in leaps and bounds!!  We also talked about what we imagined the EV would look like, and my preferred joystick handle purchase.

Finally, at 1100, we got on the tarmac.  And, as is the tradition when Joe and I fly, the stroopwafels came out!


And the rosary, although I may have fallen asleep listening to “Rosary with the Pope”.  But that’s ok, because we landed happily in Logan, and while some of the shuttle bus drivers weren’t very nice, others were.

Mr. Incredible

Then we were off to wait in line for the rental car.  And we waited.  And waited.  And in the interest of making the dr. appointment, we changed lines and got a Hyundai Tucson.  Because, i “thought” originally that we’d fly up at 0930, get to UMass by 1200, then Volturno’s, then back in time for our 5pm flight.  The 2 hr delay wreaked havoc on that schedule, and I was a bit panicky about even making the appt on time!


But Joey got us there at 1415, and we were whisked back so fast we didn’t have time to take a waiting room picture!  Dr. Owegi saw me, did the exam, remembered how ticklish I am on my feet now, found out Joey was the uber driver and/or we met in the parking lot.  That got a laugh!  They must not be ready for us though – you’d think by now they’d know, I’m not like other patients!  We were talking about beer, and racing cars, and the EV, showing pictures and talking it up!  A grand ol’ time, originating from my need to be distracted while giving blood.  No big deal!

The good news is that I’m no worse than before the infusion, and they don’t have any concerns.  The bad news is that my speech is worse and I need to use the proloquo app so that the docs and nurses can understand me.  The unknown is if I am getting the drug or placebo – we don’t know.

We got out at 1530.  Which meant we might make it back for the 1630 boarding, but no Volturno’s, and no beer.  NO BEER.  But, “Things would get worse for Arsenal!”  We started flying down 90 east toward Logan and when we got to the tunnels…. dead stop.  I mean dead stop.  Our flight had been delayed 30 mins but we were still in the tunnel at 1730.  So, for the first time in my life, we missed a flight!!!  A new experience for me!

A delay in Logan


But it’s ok.  We went to ‘Murcan Airlines and were able to get on standby for the 7pm flight, and wouldn’t you know we got on!  Unfortunately, we were separated.  And then we sat on the taxiway for…. an hour and a half?  you know what the captain said?  The reverse thrust stabilizer was broken so we couldn’t take off with a tailwind.  HUH?????  Joey shared it best – sometimes they overshare!  Aside from playing the “run to the other runway to see if the line is shorter” game, the flight went great!  Just, remind me that on these later flights I get very very cold, so put on my jacket!IMG_3786

But, to the point of this post: I had massive gas on the taxiway.  Like, painful stomach, cramped up in one position for 3 hours, need to pass gas kinda pain.  But you know what?  I held it in, because who DOES that????  Not boasting, just commenting on human ability!  i mean, if i can hold it with ALS…

Back to National


Thank you again for my faithful companion Joey, who was my stabilizer, idea-bouncer-offer, philosophical sage, comedic relief for awkward moments, and a great friend!!


7 thoughts on “Who Farts on an Airplane, redux”

  1. Hey Joe!!! Powerful words of IronMan, “You can’t do someone a solid and then brag about it!” referring to you not farting on the plane… “you come off all grandiose!”

    Liked by 1 person

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